Who’s Responsible

There is nothing more pure and perfect than being able to tag team with the creator and produce life. You’ll never understand the bond that carrying a child creates until you experience it. A bond that is felt miles and miles away. A bond that stands even through death. The bond between a mother and a child is one that’s not easily broken. No wonder in a Mother’s eyes, a child can do no wrong. Her love isn’t based on conditions nor is it measured by the opinions or approval of others.

Where is she though?

Her voice has faded. The cries of the children are getting louder. The stench of death getting stronger! For months and months there was no sign of her and FINALLY, there she was. Blood shot eyes, disgruntled face. Her looks have changed. Nothing is the same. Where has she been all this time and why did she leave?

MOTHER why did you leave?

Didn’t you hear me? Didn’t you see me? I called to you and you didn’t answer. Were you too busy? Did Rick need you? Was I too much? I know Dad left you but he left me too. I needed you but I guess whatever IT was, needed you most. I waited. I cried. I searched for you. Morning came. I searched some more but all I found was memories. Memories of what was…so finally enough was enough. I gave up! I can still feel the heart beat from 19 years ago. The beat from your chest as I lay in your womb waiting to meet you. Yes I still hear it. Yes, I still feel it but as the tears roll down my face today, they meet reality. The reality is, you left. You left your responsibilities. Not just me but your community! You needed love but you looked in the wrong places. You needed to be affirmed and wanted. It was all right here. I loved you with no strings attached but I understand, it was a different type of love you needed. I’m lost without you but I’ll make it. The community is suffering but they’ll survive. See, what you didn’t understand was how important you were to those around you. You didn’t see how needed you were here because you were looking there. Erica was suicidal, your hugs gave her life. James was hungry, the hot plates you gave got him over til the next day. Your constructive criticism and wisdom kept Monica from going to Juvie. You were the neighborhood’s wonder woman because you stood up to the bullies. If only you had realized, maybe you would have stayed. It’s okay though mom. They say everything happens for a reason. Not sure if i’ll ever know what that reason could be but I’ll take the lessons learned and be the best ME I can be!

Life is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away(James 4:14)

We’ve seen people come and go, we’ve seen wars and famine, we’ve experienced racism, riots and chaos. We’ve seen homes torn apart and families destroyed but something seems to be on the horizon. Something’s changing. Times are getting harder. Evil is prominent. We all know that life as we know it will be over one day but what have we done? What are leaving behind? Have we fulfilled our purpose here or did we just exist? Did we take care of our responsibilities and what was important or were we distracted by the winds? In this year alone, I’ve seen the biggest incline in suicide in children younger than 12 years old than I’ve seen in my lifetime. Babies- THE HEARTBREAK! It is such a sensitive area and I weep every time I think about it. Where’s the protection? The covering? Why are the children left to fend for themselves and fight on their own? Are we that busy? Insensitive? Do we ourselves not have the tools? Are we fighting to survive ourselves, making it hard to help anyone else? Even our youth! The justice systems have failed us. The school systems have failed us. I’ve experienced that first hand and I fought it for years until it hit me. This is a spiritual battle we’re in. The schools aren’t equipped to fight spiritual battles nor is any other carnal entity which means our children are our responsibility as parents, spiritual counselors, community leaders and those who believe in the power of prayer and intercessory. WE must not only pray but listen to our children. Pry when we see strange behavior. Pay attention to the signs and ask questions. Address wrong behavior. Correct them but do it in love. Love, teach and affirm them. Advocate for them and let them know they’re not alone in this world. Be mindful of and sensitive to their feelings and emotions because we all have them and want them to be recognized and respected. Our children are no different. In fact they are weaker than us in this aspect so we must model the same behavior we expect in return. Yes, parenthood is a challenge in itself. Life in general can be challenging at times. I know from experience that the responsibility of parenting can be heavy. However, we can’t escape them. We have a charge now but that charge is a blessing. We get to be heroes in the eyes of our little ones. A blessing indeed!

So who’s responsible? We are! It is us who are responsible for our children’s development and well-being. Children come into this world with no instructions or manuals. WE are the manuals and for the record, we’re all impaired to some degree. We don’t have manuals either. There is no perfect antidote to parenthood so save yourself some frustration there. For those who didn’t have your parents for whatever reason; those who didn’t have any good examples, I get it and you’re not alone! God knows that and as a part of his provision for us, he has provided people and resources to assist in the challenges we face but it is still up to us to utilize what we have. At the end of the day, there are no excuses. Our lack doesn’t free us to neglect our responsibilities but I promise you, once you push past fear and all of your inadequacies, you will conquer! It is such an amazing feeling to feel like a failure most of your life because of what you lacked but to become a mother, get yourself together and see your future get brighter and brighter through your children even when all odds were against you! That is something I’ll never be able to explain through words so chin up butter cup. You got this! We got this! There is a war going on for sure but we still have artillery. Let’s use them to fight together to win our children and take back our communities. There is trouble everywhere and we cannot protect our children from everything but we must do what we can to train and prepare them for life!

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